Straight Shootin’: Hits and misses of 2014
It’s Throwback Thursday here at the site but instead of the usual TBT post I thought I’d look back at the year of our Lord 2014 and point out a few movies that stood out to me. Let me know what your favorites were in the comments below.
My Favorite movies of the year
Edge of Tomorrow
It’s a crime that a movie like this is met with a poor box office while a pile of trash like that new Transformers movie makes a boat load of cash. I blame China. Tom Cruise is still getting over the couch-jumping debacle with American audiences but he continues to put out great flicks.
The Raid 2
An unbelievably awesome action movie. Watching the special features will give you an even greater appreciation for the film and my excitement for a follow-up couldn’t be higher. I wish dumb Americans would watch more foreign films instead of whatever crap Mark Wahlburg makes these days.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
My favorite Marvel film to date and one cool 70’s style spy thriller, Cap 2 ended up being the best movie I saw in a theater all year. Cap finally gets to kick some ass that isn’t computer generated and we have just enough time for Falcon and Black Widow to be interesting but not shoved down our throats. Excellent.
An original story with compelling characters set in a dystopian future. No it’s not The Hunger Games, this movie was actually good. I guess you have to cast 19 year old’s and pretend they’re children these days in order for people to watch your film.
Shittiest Movies of the year
300: Rise of an Empire
This movie was so historically inaccurate I was expecting to see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter ride a dinosaur out and drive a stake through the beautiful tits of Eva Green. I love war history movies and this was one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Even the presence of Eva Green’s marvelous chesticles couldn’t save this turd.
MGM Executive: “Let’s change everything that made the original movie great and hope people come to see it. We did hire Sam Jackson. People love him!” Eat a dick studios, your movie sucked.
Movies I should have seen but get off my back I’m busy
If you want people to like you just kill a bunch of Nazi’s with a tank. That always works for me.
Keanu Reeves returns to the genre that made him a star and kills a bunch of people. Don’t ever kill Keanu’s dog, they should have known that.
Scarlett Johansson is pumped full of drugs and now she uses over 10% of her brain. Maybe the writers should have Googled it and they would have known that we all use more than 10% of our brains.