Tough Chicks: Angelina Jolie – Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Angelina Jolie is in her absolute prime here in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. The movie was based on a video game where a large chested version of Indiana Jones goes around gathering up artifacts and when the studios decided to cast Jolie they attempted to increase her cup size from a natural 36C to a 36D. Apparently the video game version has a 36DD version but they didn’t want anyone to call Jolie “Cartoon Tits” so they only enhanced her a little. Well, I may have thrown that C-Tits thing in myself but I can’t imagine her doing all the stuntwork from this movie with those massive things bopping against her face. She would have had to wear aviators to hide her black eyes. Any who….Angelina is looking pretty damn good here and besides her sassy performance in Mr. & Mrs. Smith this is probably my favorite non-naked Jolie. Maybe it was the English accent.
Practicing the George Costanza pose.
I don’t have much familiarity with the video game as to my knowledge it was never released on the SEGA Genesis and that was by far my favorite system. The character has always been just a female version of Indiana Jones to me and while I love me some Harrison Ford adventures I guess I just don’t get as excited for Lara Croft the same way. Maybe it’s because she’s not fighting against the Nazi’s. They are by far the most natural villain for any period adventure. Jolie does kick quite a bit of ass in the movie but not once did she actually use her guns to kill anyone. She pretty much only shoots non-living things with them. I’m pretty surprised that at no time did Jolie’s clothes get ripped or cut to reveal her tightly toned abs. Word is they’re making a new Tomb Raider movie so maybe Angelina can play her uppity mother who pretends she better than everybody and carries around a vile of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood.
Pay no attention to the man hands. Two Seinfeld references in one post!
This is actually in the sequel but I don’t think you’ll mind.