Damsels: Lynn Collins – John Carter
John Carter has a ton of problems, too many for me to list here, but even with all of the issues it never lacks from having a blazin’ hot body on screen for most of the film. That bod belongs to Lynn Collins and it is a real joy to see in its tanned and toned state. If the real Mars had chicks running around looking like Collins I would put myself on that list to travel there on a one-way trip immediately.
After a quick Google search of Lynn Collins I was reminded that she was also the hottie that turned Hugh Jackman’s Logan into the raging beast known as Wolverine. I’m sure I knew that at one point but even the thought of that shitty movie pisses me off.
Taylor Kitsch is like the Juicy Fruit Gum of action stars; he has the looks and appears to be able to carry enough of a film to be a star but Kitsch loses his flavor after a few minutes and in the end will leave you unfulfilled. Lynn Collins faults, on the other hand, only lie in wearing far too much clothing.