Damsels: Madeleine Stowe – The Last of the Mohicans
My two biggest crushes when I was a kid were Judie Aronson of American Ninja fame and Madeleine Stowe. You may remember Stowe from movies like Stakeout, Twelve Monkeys, or The General’s Daughter, but my love for the beautiful Madeleine comes from her appearance in the 1992 film The Last of the Mohicans.
Based on a classic novel by James Fenimore Cooper that director Michael Mann has never read, The Last of the Mohicans is an epic historical action movie that has equal parts romance and equal parts man getting his heart carved out of his chest. That means that Stowe and Co. (which could easily be a vintage clothing store) spend as much time nearly getting killed by Natives as they do quietly falling in love with each other. They at least had the common decency to kill scores of people in between the romantic bits. I actually got to see this movie in theaters when I was just a little man and I can guarantee you that I was running around my yard with a musket and tomahawk for weeks following my first viewing. If I did that now I’d probably have police officers politely ask me to stop. They are just so courteous sometimes…
Despite the fact that some of these pictures look like they came from some historical S & M book, The Last of the Mohicans is so reserved that there isn’t even one scene involving a Native American orgy (wtf?) or any of that French & Indian action that we’re told happened so much during the Seven Years War (#MissedOpportunities). For real, though, Mohicans has my favorite actor of all time (Daniel Day-Lewis), my bigtime 90’s crush (Stowe), features one of my favorite wars to study (French and Indian War), and my second favorite waterfall jump of all time (sorry, Predator rules!). It should be no surprise to you that The Last of the Mohicans is my second favorite film of all time. Which means I’ve seen in innumerable times, and that means a lot of time well spent watching the lovely Madeleine Stowe.