Bullet Points: Good Cop Bad Cop
While you may know it as a film called Black Dawn, you probably haven’t heard of it at all. Either way, GCBC isn’t a terrible movie by any means. It does star Lorenzo Lamas, and if you don’t like that then we just can’t be friends. Where GCBC fails is that it slips a convoluted plot into a movie that just didn’t need one. Still, it was better than watching the Presidential Debate.
Synopsis: Retired cop Jake Kilkanin (Lorenzo Lamas) gets brought back into the action when a murder case resembles one that he was very familiar with in his past. The witness to the murder, and wife of the abducted old, rich guy, hires Kilkanin to help her find her husband and stop the vicious drug-dealing bastards once and for all.
- IMDb: I had trouble at first finding the film on imdb.com but after searching through Lorenzo Lamas’ filmography, I discovered that it was listed by it’s other name Black Dawn. I’m not sure which one I liked better. Neither really did it for me.
- An expensive calling card: The murder victims are all left with an Olmec talisman on their bodies. Seems like it would have just been easier to write on them with a Sharpie or something.
- Sick Burn Alert: When Lamas meets the smartass witness he says “Love your hair. How come you dyed your roots black?”
- 90’s Movie Checklist: Never fear, it is almost a guarantee that any 90’s action movie will somehow find its way into a strip club.
- Lorenzo Lamas and his Hog: You sickos are probably thinking about his dong right now but I’m talking about the motorcycle that Lorenzo always seems to find in every one of his movies. It’s like his “I’ll be back”.
- The Cult of Laser Tag: The weirdo cult of guys in black who are also dropping Olmec medallions on dead bodies, are running around wearing what looks like laser tag night vision masks. There has to have been a way to make those masks look cooler than that, right?
- Lorenzo the Role Model: Not only does Jake Kilkanin know French, Latin, Greek, and some Spanish, but he also reads a lot and loves dogs. What a man!
- Cash for Clackers: Jake and his lady witness trade her new Ford truck for a couple of run down horses. What is most strange about their deal is that she also ends up with a cowboy hat in the deal. I bet that was what sealed it for her.
- The Action: Most of the action starts happening once Kilkanin and his former stripper/witness/wife of rich banker friend make their way into Mexico. They get attacked by random bushwackers, deal with Federales, and eventually put on a multi-man siege to the cults hideout. I would have liked to see Lamas go toe-to-toe with a few of the cultists but we did get a chance to see him wield a number of different weapons but sadly none of them were swords. Put Lamas on a Harley with a sword and I’ll watch the shit out of that!
- Fixing the stairs: In what must have felt like a great metaphor for wrapping up the story, Jake builds a new stairwell to his crib on the beach. Now I guess he’ll live out his days surfing, drinking Jack Daniels, and banging whatever exotic dancers he hasn’t yet plowed.
The Verdict: If you’re a Lorenzo Lamas fan (and you should be) then you’ll probably enjoy Good Cop Bad Cop. I don’t think that seeing it will turn anyone into a Lamas fan club member, but it’s hard to deny that he is rather charming and would kick the shit out of Sean Faris. I doubt Sean Faris can even ride a motorcycle….you can’t be an action hero without riding a motorcycle.