Damsels: Mia Sara – Timecop
Not many actors can claim that their first two film projects were 1985’s Legend and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off one year later. Mia Sara might have that honor on lock down but that doesn’t mean that she is free from any kind of torment from the villainous types you will find in any and every Jean Claude Van Damme movie. In fact, if you’ve ever seen an action movie before you know that being the wife of the hero isn’t the safest thing in the world. Poor Mia…
Timecop isn’t regarded as the top JCVD movie by many but it’s loaded with amazing fight scenes, cool one-liners, kooky time travel gimmicks, and continued butt shots from the man himself. Most of Van Damme’s career early on consisted of him roundhouse kicking a bunch of dudes and then pulling down his jocks to have the director film his butt cheeks for a love scene. Lucky for us, Mia Sara gets in on the action and produces a short boinking scene that 11 year old Chad Cruise was a big fan of.
Not unlike all those other wives of heroic time travel enforcement agents, Mia Sara’s Melissa had a target painted on her firm buttocks that even Walker didn’t see. After she’s offed by a few guys with epic early 90’s ponytails, Van Damme’s Walker falls into a deep depression that can only be cured by traveling through time and kicking the hell out of bad guys. For some reason it takes Walker many years to realize that he has the ability to travel through time and that it could potentially have an effect on the murder of his wife. He’s not the smartest guy in the world, folks.
So it’s with a new hairstyle and a little less swagger that future Walker heads back in time to attempt to rescue his wife from the dudes in 3XL leather trench coats. If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that someone who buys a massive leather trench coat and wears their hair in a mullet ponytail is not a completely sane person. I’m sure Walker will waste no time in saving his former bride this time…
Suffice it to say, Van Damme always delivers in the clutch and Timecop is no different. Where Mia Sara disappeared to after 1994 is anyone’s guess but I’m certainly appreciative of her and her hotness in this early 90’s gem.