Tough Chicks: Keira Knightley – King Arthur

I’ve had a crush on Keira Knightley since I first saw her in Love Actually. Yes, I have seen some non-action movies and have surprisingly enjoyed a few of them. In fact, I vividly remember seeing Knightley in Pride and Prejudice as well because of how beautiful she looked and also because Jane Austen is my shit!

Knightley appears about a third of the way through King Arthur and isn’t the legendary Guinevere that I remember reading about in those old books I rented from the library. You remember that place called the library, right? Well this Guinevere isn’t the elegant hussy who bangs her husband’s best friend and most loyal knight but instead she’s some Pict warrior woman who lobs arrows at dudes from like a mile away. I can’t say that I’m all that unhappy that she isn’t swapping sweat with Lancelot; that was always my least favorite part of the legend. It did, however, make her an interesting character and I can’t say the same for her character in this version of King Arthur. She goes from a multi-dimensional Queen of Camelot to the one-note love interest eye candy for the hero.

To say that I’m not a huge fan of the lack of character for my girl Knightley is an understatement. What’s also saddening is that for the American poster they digitally enlarged Knightley’s breasts to appear more vivacious for us jug-loving Yankees. While this is upsetting as a human being, my unapologetic male side is nodding in approval. I do love me a good pair of boobies.

I hope that axe is for cutting the crust off of my sandwich!