The Essentials: Ahhhh-Nold!

The new Arnold-starring Terminator: Genisys comes out in a few days and I thought it would be an excellent time to take a look at what I consider to be the greatest films in his collection. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

1. Terminator 2: What I consider to be one of the best action movies of all time. Arnold returns as the T800 model but pulls the swerve and decides that he’ll protect Linda Hamilton and her annoying kid instead of shooting them in the head. The effects are insane for a movie that was made in 1991 and one of the very few sequels to ever surpass the original in terms of awesomeness.

2. Predator: My favorite movie since I was 9 and possibly the most testosterone filled flick of all time. Arnie and his crack-team of commandos go into Val Verde to rescue some CIA dudes but find themselves being hunted by something even more deadly. This movie should be digitally transmitted into space in the off chance that any extraterrestrial life forms feel like messing with Earth.

3. Commando: Arnie returns to Val Verde and annihilates the population after some jabronies make the mistake of kidnapping his daughter to try and force Arnold into assassinating a political leader. Arnold has some great one-liners and kills thugs in a variety of ways with garden and lawn tools. What makes this movie even more fun is if you picture the role of John Matrix being played by Tony Danza….kinda blows your mind, huh?

4. True Lies: The third and final collaboration between Arnold and James Cameron and this movie would be at the top of most actors’ lists immediately except we’re not talking about most actors here. True Lies might be the most “fun” of any of Arnold’s action movies. There is a perfect mixture of comedy as Arnold plays a secret agent whose wife finds out about him all while a terrorist organization plots to blow shit up. The body count is pretty high once Arnie gets pissed off and like always he spouts off a few excellent one-liners. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis’s strip scene is top notch!

5. The Terminator: Rarely can an actor become a big star from being in a movie where they only utter like 4 lines. James Cameron had a real winner with The Terminator and it’s kinda funny to think that the part of the T800 was almost given to OJ Simpson but they didn’t find him menacing enough. Arnold kills every Sarah Connor in the city and breaks out his signature “I’ll be back” line for the first time.

6. Total Recall: Arnold dresses in drag, beats his wife, kills a woman, and it’s still better then that God-awful Batman movie he did. Having Ronny Cox and Michael Ironside as your villains can make any movie great though. Jeff Bridges, Matthew Broderick, and Richard Dreyfuss were considered before Arnold took the role. Can you imagine Richard Dreyfuss screaming while his eyes popped out of his head?

7. The Running Man: To me, the most Arnold-y of all of Arnold’s movies. Everything in the film is tailor made for The Oak’s particular set of skills. I can’t think of any other actor who could have pulled off that script better. Arnold kills a unique assortment of gladiatorial bad guys and we’re cheated out of showdowns with both Jesse Ventura and Sven Ole Thorsen. Other than that, the movie is a masterpiece.

8. Conan the Barbarian: Hey Arnold, go get wasted and punch the camel while screaming “sluts” at some women! That’s how I imagine the director told Arnold to film that scene. The cinematography and score of this movie alone made it a truly awesome film. It’s sad though to think how the economy collapsed to the point that giant boy-powered wheels of death are no longer profitable.

9. Sabotage: The newest Arnold film to make this list and by far the most badass movie he’s made since he returned from being the Governator. He doesn’t have the normal Arnold bravado and there isn’t much flash to this movie but it makes up for that with a serious amount of killing and a cool showdown for the finale.

10. Eraser: One of Arnold’s last good films before he became Governator of Candycornia and the only one where he throws a man into a jet engine and kills a massive crocodile. Arnie continues to get Sven Ole Thorsen work as “man Arnold kills” and uses his X-ray gun to check out Vanessa Williams in her panties. Sadly, James Caan chose money over his bromance with Arnold so Arnie had to murder him.