5 Questions: Iron Eagle II

It had been years since I last watched 1988’s Iron Eagle II, the follow up to what is legit one of my all time favorite films. I would like to come on here and say that revisiting Iron Eagle II was a delightful stroll down memory lane, but that would not be accurate at all.

Watching Iron Eagle II again managed to raise my ire and quite a few questions (five of them to be exact)…

#1 – Who the hell thought it was a good idea to kill off Doug Masters?

At the start of Iron Eagle II we see the hero from the first film, Doug Masters (Jason Gedrick) flying maneuvers with his friend Matt Cooper (Mark Humphrey) over the Bering Strait. The two are engaged in a jet fighter pissing contest when they accidentally cross over into Russian airspace. This lapse in geographical awareness prompts some Russian fighters to make their presence known. Cooper believes that the jets are there to escort them back to their own airspace but the impulsive Masters believes they are flying aggressively and goes on the attack and ends up getting blown up.

Who thought it was a good idea to kill off half of the dynamic duo that made the original Iron Eagle the 80’s masterpiece that it is? Obviously Jason Gedrick either was not available to fully commit to the sequel or he did not want to, but they could have made much better use of his uncredited cameo. For example… just when it looks like all is lost for Chappy and his ragtag group of American and Russian soldiers at some point in the third act, Doug Masters swoops in from outta nowhere and saves Chappy’s ass. That’s a feel good moment that would have evoked a positive reaction and probably made the audience forget about a lot of the tediousness of the film leading up to the big action finale … instead Iron Eagle II decided to shit the bed a few minutes in and that stink would stick with the movie for the duration.

#2 – What kind of call sign is Thumper?

As if though killing Doug Masters was not bad enough, Iron Eagle II gives him the call sign of “Thumper”. To put this name in context, his buddy Matt Cooper’s call sign is “Cobra”. Doug Masters is named after Bambi’s friend, while Matt Cooper is named after an underrated Sylvester Stallone character. Something is not right here.

Between the call sign and his demise… I would have preferred if Jason Gedrick had nothing to do with this movie at all. The movie was only two years after the original, Doug Masters would still be in the United States Air Force Academy… Chappy could have mentioned him as a callback to the original but there was no need to sully the character of Doug Masters like Iron Eagle II did… of course it still did less damage to Doug Masters than that damn Iron Eagle IV.

#3 – How do you make the name Chappy Sinclair even cooler?

One positive that Iron Eagle II had going for it was Louis Gossett Jr. returning as Col. Chappy Sinclair. If I was going to make a Top 10 list of awesome movie character names, you best believe that Chappy Sinclair would appear on that list… but Iron Eagle II managed to make Chappy’s name even cooler when after accepting the command of an integrated strike force made up of soldiers from both the United States and Russia, Chappy was promoted to Brigadier General Chappy Sinclair!

#4 – Who butchered The Spencer Davis Group classic “Gimme Some Lovin”?

Iron Eagle had an epic soundtrack featuring the likes of Queen, Dio, Twisted Sister and James Brown. The movie also featured The Spencer Davis Group hit, “Gimme Some Lovin” in a great scene where Doug Masters pays tribute to his friend Chappy, who he believes perished when his plane was shot down.

Iron Eagle II had a less than epic soundtrack but they did manage to get some notable performers like Bruce Springsteen, Alice Cooper and Rick Springfield. The movie also featured a craptastic cover of “Gimme Some Lovin” by a group known as The Insiders (aka D’Insiders)… some songs weren’t meant to be covered.

#5 – Am I supposed to believe that fat ass Maury Chaykin is an enlisted man?

I am not over here fat shaming and I know when it comes to movies you often have to go in with a suspension of disbelief, but that suspension only goes so far. The United States Military requires enlisted personnel to take a fitness test every six months… there is no way Chaykin’s Sgt. Downs was passing a fitness test. I get that Chaykin was cast to provide some of the movie’s comic relief… but I think they could have found someone who could be goofy like Chaykin but also looked the part of a soldier.