Bullet Points: Pink Heat

Pink is usually associated with charm, politeness, sensitivity and the feminine. So what happens when you through a little spice into the mix? You get a polite sensitive lady who isn’t afraid to charm the hell out of you… and kick a little ass if the situation may arise. And boy does the situation arise in the 2015 film Pink Heat. Revenge films are fairly common in the action movie universe which is why when I find one that can stand out in the rainbow of action movies, I can’t help but share some Bullet Points. Let’s take a look at an action movie that turns the temperature dial of the rosy hue up a few degrees with Pink Heat.

• Perfect Start – Pink Heat doesn’t pussyfoot around with a slow start and gets right down to business. We are introduced to our heroine Elizabeth (Jordan Burgess) and we quickly learn what she can handle herself in a sticky situation, and is down right deadly with a pistol. Elizabeth is a western saloon when some bad hombres show up giving the barkeep a rough time. Things turn south fast and Elizabeth out draws one of the cowboys and then summarily takes out his two cohorts to boot. And if you are now thinking that Elizabeth is a deadly murderer you would be a fool because it turns out that is was all an act for the western ranch that Elizabeth’s grandfather owns.

• Ideal Gift – Elizabeth works for and lives with her grandfather as her parents are dead and one of the cowboys is her boyfriend. The show we just watched happens to be on Elizabeth’s birthday and her grandfather has gifted Elizabeth a special present. Two chrome revolvers with pink handles. It is around this point the audience realized Pink Heat is told through flashbacks. And do you know what makes watching flashback more exciting? By not only listening to Elizabeth narrate the events but watching her write it all down on a legal pad with a pencil. A unique storytelling convention to say the least.

• Nasty Fellas – Some real life bad guys show up at the ranch looking to hide out until the heat on them cools. They take everyone in the saloon hostage, but luckily for Elizabeth she was not in the saloon at the time because she was getting her holsters to model her new guns. Unluckily for Elizabeth, she is peeking through the saloon window when her grandfather gets shot in the leg. Luckily for her grandfather, the pain is temporary because the next shot is to his head. Pink Heat just got serious. Elizabeth is spotted and the chase is one. A slow methodical chase.

• Killer Ending – Elizabeth starts getting revenge, except as thoughtful as the two guns were for a gift, Elizabeth’s grandfather didn’t give her any ammunition. I love the added realism of a limited supply of ammunition, but the moral of the story is to not be a cheapskate and to always give ammunition when you give someone pink handled revolvers. Elizabeth does get captured at one point and of course there is a rapey guy who wants to get his rocks off forcing Elizabeth to get her blouse off. Spoiler alert, he gets what he deserves. While hiding out from the remaining bad guys, Elizabeth has time to discover that her mother was an expert sharpshooter who performed under the name Pink Heat (hey, just like the movie title!) and Elizabeth dons her dead mother’s hat and duster for the final showdown. I like to call the final action piece the shootout at the ‘just ok’ corral.  But I jest, it is entertaining and shows us that Elizabeth is not averse to a little knifeplay. However, the shooting is where Elizabeth shines and you better believe the scene ends with a gun in her hand.

Pink Heat is a unique action film that combines aspects of revenge and western films. It is a quick 79 minutes, and that is with some slow motion to pad the runtime. There are not many familiar faces, but the actors are believable and look the part. The writing narration was an odd choice but Pink Heat pays it off with the ending. Speaking of endings, Pink Heat is left open for a potential sequel… sign me up. No need to sign up for any Pink Heat Bonus Bullet Points because they are coming your way.

• Rose Colored Glasses – Much of Pink Heat features a pink filter but not so much that is obnoxious but enough to give it a unique look… ‘cause you know, the movie is called Pink Heat.
• What Does He Think of Pink? – As depicted in the eponymous movie, General George S. Patton responded to a question about his pistol grips with the spot on quote, “They’re ivory. Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would carry a pearl-handled pistol.”
• If You Ever – Wanted to see someone get blinded by another person spitting whiskey in their face then Pink Heat is for you.
• Jack of All Trades – Writer and director are only two of the at least eleven times I saw Sean LaFollette’s name in the credits.
• Quote Often Heard in the BPA Offices When Chris the Brain is Away – “Chris ain’t here now. I’m in charge.”
• Quote Often Heard in the BPA Offices When Chris the Brain Returns – “You all have a job to do and I expect you don’t fuck it up.”