Bullet Points: Expert Weapon

After supporting roles in movies like Kickboxer 3: The Art of War and Ring of Fire II: Blood and Steel, Ian Jacklin would have a chance to be the action star in 1993’s Expert Weapon…

• That Escalated Quickly: When we first meet Adam Collins (Ian Jacklin) he is up to no good and is looking to steal a car from an unsuspecting woman. Adam roughs up her up a bit, gets her keys and hops in the driver’s seat… but Adam’s partner in crime takes things too far and kills the woman for no reason whatsoever. The cops quickly show up which forces Adam and his cohort to flee on foot… Adam turns on his “friend”, gets in a scuffle with one of the cops, that cop’s gun goes off during the skirmish and the cop is shot… Adam Collins is arrested and found guilty of first degree murder and sentenced to death in the gas chamber.

• The Program: When a prisoner is on death row like Adam Collins is, it is not strange that he is visited by a priest… but “the priest” that comes to visit Adam is no priest at all… Miller (Mel Novak, Sword of Heaven). Miller isn’t there to deliver Adam’s last rites he is there to recruit Adam for “The Program” …the meeting is far from cordial, but Miller sees potential in Adam, whether Adam is interested in joining or not. So one moment Adam is in the gas chamber, the next he wakes up at the top secret Program facility and meeting the staff that will be turning him from death row inmate to covert government assassin… there’s the Director of Operations Carl Janson (Sam J. Jones, Fists of Iron), tech expert Costanza, firearms expert Magnet (Joe Estevez, American Tigers), acting coach Lynn Varley (Judy Landers, Remo Williams: The Prophecy) and martial arts sensei Miller… who also ends up teaching Adam how to read.
• Making an Assassin: The next chunk of the movie is devoted to Adam Collins’ transformation, with some montages and various scenes with Adam interacting with his coaches… we then get to see Adam apply the skills he has learned, taking out two targets, one of which was United States Senator… Miller is like a proud father and even gives Adam the moniker Expert Weapon (DING!), Lynn is also pleased with Adam’s accomplishments and gives him some.

• Love is Blind: Adam’s next target is mob boss Lou Maglia… and this is when things get complicated for The Expert Weapon. Killing Lou Maglia is relatively easy but Lou’s blind wife Vicky is present when the hit goes down. I am not sure if it was guilt or some strange attraction, but Adam takes it upon himself to take care of Vicky Maglia… he sets her up in a cheap motel which she describes as smelling like one part urine and two parts beer. Adam gets more and more involved with Vicky which is against protocol and it isn’t long before some of his fellow Program recruits are coming after him. Adam and Vicky eventually consummate their relationship with plans of leaving the country and going to Montreal, where Vicky has some money stashed, money she obtained by selling off some of the gifts that her husband would buy her and never notice they were missing. I am not sure exactly how the money got into a safety deposit box in Montreal, but Adam didn’t question it and he is more than willing to steal away with Vicky, but he realizes he is going to have to take care of Jansen and The Program first if the two have any hope of living happily ever after.

There is a lot I have learned to live with when it comes to lower budget action movies like Expert Weapon. I didn’t expect kickboxer turned actor Ian Jacklin to be the finest thespian the world had ever seen, especially in his first starring role. I never expect a complex story with deep, multilayered characters… those aren’t things an action movie really needs.

But what I do expect and what an action movie DOES need is some quality action and that is where Expert Weapon was more like Novice Weapon. Ian Jacklin looked good, but it takes two to tango and Jacklin had very little to work with. It felt like Jacklin was doing his thing and everyone else felt like they were moving in slow motion. I am less than 24 hours removed from watching the movie as I write this and there’s not a single memorable action sequence I can tell you about. And the lack of quality action negated Jacklin’s efforts, negated the work of an action movie veteran like Sam J. Jones and it ended up being a movie I went into optimistically (based on the superior Ian Jacklin vehicle Death Match) and ended up counting down the minutes until it was over.

This review is almost over so that means it is Bonus Bullet Points time…

• If You Ever: …wanted to see Ian Jacklin piss on the Bible, then Expert Weapon is the movie for you.
• Catchphrase: Sam J. Jones’ Janson loves to use the term “maggots” when referring to the recruits of The Program. The only man I know who used “maggots” more than Janson would be Sgt. Slaughter of G.I. Joe and professional wrestling fame.
• If You Ever: …wanted to hear Ian Jacklin cover The Rolling Stones’ “It’s Only Rock-n-Roll (But I Like It)”, then Expert Weapon is the movie for you.