Bullet Points: No Escape No Return

One of my favorite places to visit (and in some cases re-visit) on a regular basis is the PM Entertainment library.

The PM Entertainment library is not an actual physical library, but instead a collection of movies that were produced by the combination of Richard Pepin and Joseph Merhi. That means at the PM Entertainment library there are no library cards, no Dewey Decimal System, no kendo sticks with newspapers attached, no late fees, no microfiche… and in 1993 there was No Escape No Return! 

• The Heroic Trio: No Escape No Return is the tale of three maverick cops with disciplinary files the size of phone books and a general lack of support from their fellow officers… Billy Sloan (Maxwell Caulfied, Prey of the Jaguar), Tommy Cuff (Dustin Nguyen, Zero Tolerance) and Ali Weston (Denise Loveday). As the movie begins we see our three cops in action… Tommy Cuff has gone undercover working for the gang unit and finds himself in a street fight with the odds stacked against him. Things get worse when the gang violence goes from fists to guns and Tommy finds himself all alone in the chaos with his back up unit conveniently not where they were supposed to be… Ali Weston is also working undercover, but instead of dealing with gang members like Tommy, she is working as a prostitute to bust a womanizing, sex fiend with six counts of rape against him and unfortunately for her the two cops assigned to be her backup that are watching her and the suspect from behind a two way mirror are in no hurry to help when things turn dangerous since Ali turned both of them down when they asked her out. When her backup finally decides they should get in the room to help her, a pissed off Ali shoots one of them in the shoulder… Finally there’s Billy who is a uniformed officer responding to a hostage situation along with his scared shitless partner. Things escalate quickly with Billy not waiting for back up and storming the building and eventually killing the guy who was taking hostages. I should point out that Billy, Tommy and Ali all grew up together in the same neighborhood and were friends. After each went their separate ways with Billy going into the Marines, Tommy becoming a Navy SEAL and Ali going to law school. They all manage to reunite at the police academy and graduate at the top of their class.

• Malcolm in the Middle: It turns out the guy that Billy killed during that hostage situation was the younger brother of a powerful drug lord named Malcolm. Malcolm has two problems… he wants to get revenge on the cop that killed his brother (and the cop’s two best friends, I guess because he found them guilty by association) and then there’s the matter of the growing tension between Malcolm and one of his business associates south of the border, Caesar. Malcolm reacts with his heart and not his head and orders the DEA agent on his payroll, Detective Dante (Michael Nouri), to figure out how to take out the three cops on his shit list. Dante hatches an elaborate scheme where he recruits Billy, Tommy and Ali to be a part of a special surveillance team despite the fact that all three were recently suspended for their actions at the start of the film. Their first mission will have them infiltrate a nightclub owned by Malcolm… and there, if Dante’s evil plan goes off without a hitch, Billy, Tommy and Ali will be killed in the line of duty. Things turn out badly for everyone… twelve people die in the chaos, but Billy, Tommy and Ali were not among the casualties. But after the incident the three are put on double secret suspension and the court of public opinion blames our heroic trio for the deaths at the club that night.

• Arthashastra: With the media labeling them murderers and calling for their heads and their fellow cops hating them now more than ever and basically wanting them dead, things are looking pretty bleak for Billy, Tommy and Ali. But then the old proverb of “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” comes into play… Caesar, the Mexican drug lord who has been having difficulties with his American counterpart Malcolm, has Billy, Tommy and Ali abducted and taken to his fortress in Mexico where he agrees to supply them with the weapons and transportation they will need to eliminate their common problem… Malcolm. Did I mention he also offers them $500,000?!? With nothing left to lose and enough cash to start a new life away from Los Angeles, it is no surprise that our heroic trio makes the deal with the devil and you just know that Malcolm and dirty DEA agent Dante are not long for this world.

No Escape No Return would not rank among my top favorites from the PM Entertainment library. It still incorporated a lot of the elements that made PM produced movies such fan favorites with the video store crowd back in the day… like destroying a cop car in the first few minutes or a car jumping through a van and both vehicles exploding! The three leads put forth a solid effort as flawed heroes and there were some strong supporting players. But there were two areas where No Escape No Return was weak… First I was surprised with the lack of sexual content the movie featured, especially considering you had a female lead who had a past relationship with one of her male leads and had designs on the other. The other more major issue I had with the film was the Malcolm character. As a villain I found him bland and undeserving to be the main bad guy in this movie or any movie for that matter.

The lack of sizzle and the low quality villain made No Escape No Return feel like a step down from your average PM Entertainment film. If you are a not a PM Entertainment enthusiast this movie is probably not for you, but these Bonus Bullet Points are certainly for everyone…

• Familiar Faces: John Saxon (Enter the Dragon) plays the FBI agent assigned to investigate the clusterfuck that happened at the nightclub and the guy who eventually uncovers what Detective Dante has been up to… PM Entertainment stalwart Robert Miano (Guardian Angel), plays Larry, a cop who seems to enjoy busting Tommy Cuffs’ balls more than any other… Branscombe Richmond plays Tony Casanova. The Tony Casanova character is not the kind of guy Gerald LeVert would sing about, instead he was the rapist that Ali Weston busts at the beginning of the film and one who ends up going out of a window the hard way. #Defenestration
• Disturbing Quote: “Baby, I’d rather screw a broken window.”
• Ding!: Ali Weston utters the words  “No escape. No return” after the trio agrees to take Caesar’s generous offer.
• Probing Question: “How many times you ball her in one night?” – Billy asking Tommy about his past relationship with Ali.
• Stereotypical: Can you guess which of the three heroes is said to be a martial arts expert?