Bullet Points: The Predator

When Hollywood announces they are remaking/rebooting/re-imagining or even making a sequel to a popular movie from the past like Predator, many movie fans around the globe go through the Kübler-Ross model or as it is more commonly known, the five stages of grief…

1. Denial – There’s no way they can reboot Predator. The original was absolute perfection. This proposed reboot will die in developmental hell and NEVER see the light of day!
2. Anger – Can’t Hollywood come up with anything original!? You don’t mess with a classic like Predator! And they are doing it without Arnold Schwarzenegger!?!?! WTF!?! I hope they all burn in hell!
3. Bargaining – Why can’t they make a story similar to Predator but not actually include the Predator name or character?
4. Depression – I grew up on Predator. Hollywood is literally killing my childhood, why did I even get out of bed today?!
5. Acceptance – That trailer didn’t look too bad and Shane Black is the director. I know The Predator will never be as good as Predator, but I think I will go watch it and judge the film on its own merits…

• South of the Border: The movie begins with our hero, Army Ranger sniper Quinn McKenna (Boyd Holbrook) on a mission to rescue some hostages from a drug cartel… but McKenna’s mission is disrupted when an alien spacecraft carrying a Predator on the run crashes nearby. McKenna gets an up close and personal look at the Predator and what the alien is capable of when the Predator ends up killing the other two men in McKenna’s unit. McKenna manages to grab some of the Predator’s high tech gear, before the United States government shows up to do what they do best… cover the whole thing up. McKenna, knowing he saw something he wasn’t supposed to see, goes into a small town in Mexico and “convinces” one of the locals to ship the alien technology to his estranged wife’s home. Shortly after his stop at Mexico’s answer to the UPS Store, McKenna is scooped up and soon finds himself being questioned by the government… The Army doctors quickly paint McKenna with the crazy brush and the plan to keep him quiet about what he saw in Mexico is shuttling him off to a VA Mental Hospital with some other soldiers who are suffering from PTSD and other various mental illnesses.

• Looney Tunes: As McKenna is put in the VA bus, we are introduced to the guys who will eventually be affectionately known as The Loonies… this scene was reminiscent of the chopper scene at the beginning of the original Predator where we are introduced to Dutch’s team except it was missing “Long Tall Sally”… the head looney is Nebraska Williams (Trevante Rhodes) a soldier who unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head. Then there’s best friends Coyle (Keegan-Michael Key) and Baxley (Thomas Jane, Standoff), who suffers from Tourette Syndrome. Rounding out the group is Nettles and Lynch.

• Is There a Doctor in the House?: Sterling K. Brown plays Traeger, the head government asshole that has been put in charge of the Predator recovery program. After recovering the Predator and the spacecraft wreckage from the Mexican jungle, Traeger has some of his lackeys go round up an acclaimed biologist, Dr. Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn, Ocean’s 8), to help them study the Predator that they now have in captivity. Casey is briefed on what happens and requests to speak to McKenna so she can ask him about what he saw that night in the jungle. The shit hits the fan quickly when the Predator comes out of sedation and starts tearing shit up in the lab and killing people… Casey manages to get out of the laboratory and escape the Predator’s wrath the first sign that she is a woman of action. But now the Predator is on the run and that is just about the time the bus carrying McKenna shows up and chaos ensues resulting in Casey getting mixed up with McKenna and his mentally unstable brethren. The Predator doesn’t just seem to be on the run, he seems to be after something… could it be his missing gear?!?!

• The Suburban Jungle: Meanwhile, McKenna’s autistic son Rory has not only opened the packages his father had sent to the home, he has learned how to operate the alien technology inside. This puts Rory in harm’s way with The Predator they belonged to AND the Super Predator (he’s 11 feet tall) who has arrived to eliminate his fellow Predator (who has been dubbed a traitor by his race). This leads to some insane action on the streets of suburbia and in a middle school of all places! This is also where the Super Predator kills the Predator and Quinn McKenna is reunited with his son Rory. But the happy reunion does not last long…

• Not Out of the Woods Yet: When Traeger realizes that Rory has figured out how the alien technology works and where the Super Predator’s spaceship is, Rory becomes a pawn in Traeger’s game. With his son taken against his willl, McKenna and his new found friends go after Traeger and his government goons to rescue Rory. But the Super Predator has his own agenda that eventually forces McKenna and Traeger to work together and that brings us to an action finale in the wilderness that will satisfy any action junkies’ needs. Seriously, The Predator did it up big and did it up right!

I will admit, when I first heard they were making another Predator movie and that there was a kid involved in the mix, I could not wrap my mind around it. One of the reasons the original Predator was so awesome was because they didn’t do what so many action movies do and felt the need to show the softer side of the action hero by giving the hero a family or getting them involved in a romantic subplot… Predator was all action from start to finish.

But I also have to admit the Rory character works in the story that The Predator told and he ends up being the heart of the movie. And speaking of heart… I “heart” The Predator! The movie exceeded all of my expectations thanks to a talented cast of colorful characters and quality action.

One way I like to exceed the expectations of my reviews is to throw in some Bonus Bullet Points…

• Familiar Faces: Jake Busey (Starship Troopers) plays one of the doctors in the lab that is killed by the Predator early on in the film… Yvonne Strahovski plays Quinn McKenna’s estranged wife, Emily… And Lochlyn Munro (12 Rounds 3: Lockdown) had a blink and you’ll miss him role as LT. General Marks.
• Reverse Psychology Quote: “Don’t go fuck yourself!” – Rory
• Tradition: One thing we all learned about Shane Black from the original Predator is that he loves pussy jokes. That tradition continues in The Predator with Coyle’s memorable burn to his buddy Baxley, “If your mother’s vagina was a video game, it would be rated E for Everyone.”
• Disturbing Quote: “Fuck my face with an armadillo.” – Baxley
• If You Ever: …wanted to know if the Predators have pets, then this is the movie for you.
• Dudikoff Vibes: By the end of the movie, Boyd Holbrook was giving me some serious Michael Dudikoff vibes… and that is pretty much one of the highest compliments one man can give another man.